why do get so harsh on myself? why cant i have a normal life? why cant i sleep with my concience subdued? I guess this life time is not enough for me. May be someday ....
Well I am in the windy city, Snow flakes are falling like wooly cotton flakes, white as fresh death. I swear they are very white. In this "richest nation on earth", people seem to be walking in somnabulism,alone, seeking solace in material belongings. I guess i have earned the qualification to comment on the state of this nation.
I watch people hurrying home to the the security of some known smiles and warm friendly hugs. why not go back to my beloved motherland.I kept on saying this but I didn't know how far it was true, 'Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance'
May be someday this questioning, constant scrutiny will also die - wither off. I sincerely hope so. I miss my country and i realise this is the dumbest race of humans you can come across. Think of a democracy where the last protest was held during Vietnam and people are afraid what the govt might do.
Out here,Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Men who go out on ships
To escape sin & the mire of cities
watch the placenta of evening starsfrom the deck,
on their backs& cross the equator& perform rituals to exhume the dead
dangerous initiation
To mark passage to new levels
To feel on the verge of an exorcism,a rite of passageTo wait,
or seek manhood
enlightenment in a gun
Salvation in wielding power
To kill childhood,
innocencein an instant