Why?

why do i have this uneasy feeling nowdays, as if something is going to happen.Or is it me who is waiting for them to happen or want them to happen to keep me occupied, on the edge. people like me thrive on the idea of being a rogue, the is the opium for life force. I am getting more and more people who tell me the tone of your voice is like patronising everytime - my friend kalyan says that.
I understand that point he makes however it baffles me to the core why do i evoke extreme reactions in people? Why some people love me adn some hate me to their sorry heart's content?
Why have i become a benchmark for everyone to measure themsleves? Anyway as long as someone loves or another hates me, I will be ok. I will sleep well. I am sure no one can ignore me - may be i will kill the guy who tries and do that.
Why do feel this indifference towards mediocracy? The world is being run by majority and the majority is ....... . Now the big secret is how do you kill the ' heroism' in man? Simple, make the standards of achievement so low that any tom, dick or harry can achieve it. I always see man as proud , clean and wise . i see them as heroic beings. But society does not need a living hero, they need a martyr. Hero is always alone and he is danger to the society as it can't tolerate individuals. It can't tolerate happy man, that's why there are provisions/laws to make you unhappy and be there. that's why they teach you to feel guilty if you are more intelligent than others," You should not say it, It offends others ". I have a question, what is wrong in speaking the truth. I am good, it means ," I AM GOOD "