Saturday, July 19, 2014

The real danger for Children in India are parents

Have been watching news of parents in Bangalore storming school. They rightly want the perpetrator of this heinous crime to get punished. I mean, what kind of beast would sexually molest/rape a 6 year old girl. Must be punished and made an example. Children are our future, they are our bloodline, immortalise our DNA, enabling us to live through them once we are gone. Must be nurtured, protected and loved.

A month back saw a video of a 10-12 month old child being beaten by housemaid. parents got to know the treatment through CCTV they installed. There are many such cases of 3/4 year olds raped/exploited. what have we come to? However, I have a deeper question. Why are such incidents rising? Where are the parents/Grand parents?

Ah, they are busy making money to maintain their lifestyle, Pay EMIs, buy the next iPhone or paying for next European holiday. Parents are too busy; and parents simply do not care any more.There certainly is a perception that more parents are not as involved in making themselves a part of their children's  upbringing as would have been the case in years past. Personally, I fear there is validity to this perception and I don't like the societal changes that I see behind it in terms of impact on families and children. Young couples don't want their parents to live with them, women resent it citing lack of freedom & constant toka-taki of Mom-in-law. A lot of them don't want to have child too, calling it a responsibility they are not geared for.. They get a DOG home, Happier picking Dog POOP, ticks but not human children. Yes Dogs can't be raped/Molested, or can they?

Even if such couple do have children, within 10-12 months child goes to day care for almost 12 hrs or put under maid but not grand parent. At 2-3, child is sent to Play school for 10-12 hrs while parents are busy conquering the world in boardrooms in the name of "giving best to their child..". They buy expensive brands for few month old babies.. poor kid finds difficult to understand man from women but expected to appreciate the brands parents buy.. Still no grand parent in sight. While at home too they bring back work, plan official trips, fight over each other's friends and yes they have to go out for a few drinks on weekends once in a while..

The future, most precious treasures are put into the hands of day care teachers/Creche attendants or play school teachers. Ever wondered what kind of people get into teaching? Mostly who could not make it elsewhere or the really committed. The committed are harassed for lack of facilities or mix of poor kids by Congress' Right to education act. They are closing down fast.

So these modern, liberal young english speaking gents/ ladies want the government to step in. There is a growing number of citizens who want Big Brother government to control their lives. The tone of education reform puts all of the burden on teachers. There are too many factors beyond a teacher's control: the child's nutrition, attendance, sleep patterns, and many other home life factors. But, a teacher is expected to get all students on the same level without these circumstances ever being considered. Education reform mentions nothing about what students and parents should do; excepthow they should continue to evaluate and recognize the teacher's shortcomings.

Primary school teachers, work 65-hour weeks. In addition to her actual classroom duties, she teaches her own children, she teaches a standardized test the school mandates in order to qualify for funding under the Right to education. She spends another ten hours a month meeting with parents. She supervises extra- curricular activities, goes on overnight class trips, cleans and disinfects toys, coaches. She teaches fire drill safety procedures, healthy eating habits, she's certified in first aid and food sanitation.


Ten to twenty percent of our high school students have chronic medical or social problems.we want our cars to be safer, so we hit the manufacturers with a judgment that makes it more cost-effective to install the airbag. The problem here, as a teacher correctly stated, is we have more and more special needs kids (single parents) going into our public schools, 

So, who do we heap this responsibility on? Who else? The teachers. The average annual starting salary for a teacher is Rs300,000. For that, we ask them to teach, police, provide emotional and social guidance. In some schools, they actually have to clean the toilets. Now, let's throw in healthcare.

One teacher i knew at school was so overextended that when her own father had to undergo a life-threatening medical procedure, she couldn't be at the hospital. So she called to see if he had lived. Which he hadn't. She then turned away from her students, so as not to traumatise them with her grief, which as a teacher she was expected to internalise.

Private school teachers are young, educated, ambitious, have no savings ... no house. And today they are increasingly being sued because, they are overworked , emotionally stressed and with poorly brought up, undisciplined children she looses cool once in a while. This western disease of not touching child has reached urban india shores. When teacher is expected to do everything, why not disciplining them?

 They are being publicly prosecuted for trying to discipline mentally fragile children (emotional brokes) by parents who had the means to implement a multitude of safeguards. They implemented none of them except a teacher.

Is it any wonder half our teachers are quitting the profession outright within five years? Never mind who's going to handle the rapes. Who's going to teach? 

For my son, I am glad he lives with his grand parents/Uncles/Aunts/elder-younger cousins. Lifestyle is when he is visibly elated being allowed a Nokia Phone (Rs800) for him to make calls from school. Consumerism is killing families... Until one parent drops out to raise a family, be ready to make sacrifices, learn to accept & respect parents, things will only get worse. Sad for the young girl raped..

2 comments:

Limitless_Horizon said...

CB, it's a sad, sad situation you've addressed. Unfortunately, most of our young parents are too busy living life in the virtual world and their fancy offices to ever actually pay attention to what's going on in their poor child's life. We are in an era where a newborn's pic is shared on fb & twitter probably to boast that we are virile and have successfully reproduced. What the hell! I meet parents who are totally clueless about what to do with their kids...I don't mind their ignorance because an empty vessel can still be filled. My problem is with the super - ambitious know-it-alls who feel they've done their bit when they find an English - speaking nanny for their kud rather than leave them with their not-so-angrez grandparents. And why grandparents, I say? Why not one of the parents themselves? Why can't a career break be taken when you decide to bring another life into the world? It's not a sacrifice, it's an investment.

Brahamvakya said...

Misplaced Priorities Kritika.. Lets accept it. Modern Urban couples want designer babies to make them look good. Nothing they are willing to sacrifice more than their few mins per day..
They hired a teacher to do that, Right? And ten they will outrage!!!!